6 Ideas From 6 Community Builders
NYC Gatherings and a podcast episode
When like-minded people gather for extended time, magic happens!
Last Saturday, I hosted the 4th Community Builders and Creators Mini-Conference aka C3. For this one, there was no official talks, panels, or speakers.
It was just focused on peer-to-peer problem solving, connection, and learning. Sometimes that’s all we need, right?
In addition to this week’s podcast episode that was recorded from mini-interviews on the side with 5 people at C3, here are 6 ideas from people attending:
Be A Kind (Not Nice) Host
Clear Definition of Success
Nested Communities
IRL Gatherings to Counter Internet Extremism
Playful Networking: Beyond The Pitch
Social and Civic Infrastructure
1. Be A Kind (Not Nice) Host from Samanee Mahbub
Nice hosts try to make everyone happy at the expense of the overall experience of the event. You're not responsible for people's experience; you're responsible for creating the space that people have an experience in.
In my salons (group discussions around various topics), I ask permission from my guests to be the a-hole in facilitating. That means I'll cut people off if they're taking up too much space. I'll ask them to get to the point quicker if it can help move the convo and get more voices heard. I'll move the discussion somewhere else if I feel like we're going down an unproductive rabbit hole.
I'm also going to start instituting a "You can't come to the next 2 salons if you flake 24 hours before an event" because the event relies on audience participation and discussion.
You can connect with Samanee on Instagram and learn more about her events here.
2. Clear Definition of Success from Rachel Silverman
Defining success in a community is crucial for creating meaningful experiences. People want clarity on what they can gain from an event or being a community member—whether that’s forming new friendships or networking with potential business partners. A recent survey we conducted in a healthtech community I help lead highlighted diverse expectations among members. However, crafting experiences around a shared definition of success can drive a stronger community. If a specific vision doesn’t cater to everyone, that’s okay. Communities don’t need to be all-encompassing to be impactful.
You can connect with Rachel on LinkedIn and learn more about the NYC healthtech community here.
3. Nested Communities from Evelyn Frison
Within larger communities, smaller, specialized groups can be created, or naturally emerge based on specific interests. Similar to how marketers segment audiences, these micro-communities allow members to connect over niche topics while still maintaining ties to the main group. For example, a fitness community might have subgroups focused on Nutrition, or Bathhouse experiences. This "nested" structure allows for different levels and scales of participation and ultimately builds stronger loyalty as people find their perfect fit within the larger community.
You can read Evelyn’s newsletter here.
4. IRL gatherings to counter internet extremism from Tony Bacigalupo
Algorithm-driven media is gobbling up more and more of our free time—at the expense of the time we would otherwise be spending forging valuable bonds together in-person. To counter this, more and more people are seeking new ways to gather—to be together, offline, away from the drama. Chapter-based community concepts (e.g. Silent Book Club) will continue to scale up to hundreds of locations organically.
You can connect with Tony here.
5. Playful Networking: Beyond the Pitch from Michele Parad
Don’t be afraid to rethink the traditional format of a networking event. Incorporate activities like improv games, creative icebreakers, or unique connection exercises that encourage attendees to engage with one another on a deeper, more personal level. Move beyond the surface-level “what do you do?” conversations and create opportunities for participants to share their personalities, passions, and stories in an authentic way.
By introducing playful and interactive elements, such as role-playing scenarios or group challenges, you can help people feel more relaxed and open to connection. This approach shifts the energy from being transactional—a mere exchange of business cards and pitches—to being transformational, where meaningful relationships are formed. When attendees are having fun and connecting in an authentic, lighthearted environment, they are far more likely to leave the event feeling inspired, seen, and genuinely excited about the people they’ve met.
Remember, the goal is to create an experience where the focus is on building trust and camaraderie rather than just exchanging business opportunities. Playfulness can be a powerful tool to foster genuine connections that go well beyond the event itself.
You can read Michele’s Substack here and join a virtual holiday party on 12/17 here
6. Social and Civic Infrastructure from Nivi Achanta
Pretty much every community builder you know is talking about the importance of third places and how “we need community more than ever.” All true! Faith-based institutions are declining, we’re bowling alone, and public funding for arts, culture, and education are getting slashed across the country. Woohoo!
But guess what? Civic and social infrastructure are here to save us. (Rather, we are here to save ourselves.) We’re seeing a rise of third places for civic action, or as I like to call them, vibraries.
A vibrary takes many forms. Sometimes, if we’re lucky, it’s an actual library like the one in Memphis that Shamichael and his team reimagined to host bridging conversations, community gardening programs, youth action, and more. Sometimes it’s a coffee shop that’s also a mutual aid center, like Lazy Cow Bakery in Seattle where I live. Sometimes it’s a park that functions as an emergency response hub.
Now that we’ve officially surpassed a critical climate limit, vibraries where people can gather *and* take action will become more popular than ever. We are lonely, we’re overwhelmed by the plethora of social and environmental issues out there, and we need a place to go.
You can learn more on the Soapbox Project’s website and connect with Nivi on IG
NYC Gatherings: check out my NYC Gatherings calendar for fun gatherings to attend in NYC!
🎧 Podcast Episode
As mentioned above, this week’s podcast episode includes 5 hot takes from community builders at C3. You can listen here to hear from Brian Helfman, Ruthie Berber, David Kobrosky, Zach Hawtof, and Evelyn Frison.
Here is a clip from Ruthie Berber in the episode on the benefit of attending other’s people events!
You are awesome,
David Nebinski, who shared more C3 photos on IG if you want to check them out!
PS: feel free to reply back and say hi! 👋
All great ideas!